If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.

- George Washington

Thursday, 7 October 2010

Happy Birthday

My Dad would have been 97 today. Sadly, he only made it to 74.

I still miss him: in fact, the older I get, the more I miss him. He was a complex and in some ways difficult man, but as I have got older I feel I understand him better, even though he's not around, and I am sure that if he were alive today we would be close.

One of the biggest regrets of my life is that I never told him I loved him. At the end of his life we had a conversation where those words seemed to be 'understood' on both sides, but the words themselves were never spoken. It would have been embarrassing for both of us, but if I had I would feel better today.

Readers, if your parents are still alive, give them a call and tell them how you feel. One day you won't be able to.



  1. Here it's all too easy to say something like, 'He will have known'. Easy or not, he will have.

  2. Jim, I'm sure you're right. Sometimes, though, things need to be said rather then unsaid, if you know what I mean. I never doubted his feelings for me, but it would have been good to hear it - and vice versa, of course, mutatis mutandis.

    Thanks for taking the trouble to comment.

  3. My father was a complicated chap as well. He always expected more from me no matter how well I did - which was tough. About 6 months before he died, completely out of the blue, he told me how proud he was of me. It meant a great deal - to both of us.

    So if you have kids give them a call and tell them how you feel. One day you won't be able to.

  4. Sounds as if we share a similar experience. My Dad put his arm round my shoulders on graduation day and told me he was proud of me, and I have never forgotten the place, the time and the tone of voice and exact words. But he said it in such a way as to make it clear that I hadn't done enough yet, not by a long chalk :) Your last remark - very true indeed. And I do.

  5. I have things to say on the subject of family realtions and, when in the company of those in whom one detects sympatico, it is tempting to say it now.

    I think though that I shall feed it to the hounds. They have their own take on matters and you seldom get a DFS half price comfy sofa deal from them. Watch that other space.

  6. Quite so. I will look out for it.

    Hounds are useful at times, non?


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