Conkers Bonkers, again

Via Big Brother Watch, this from the Daily Wail:

Take for instance visitors to the Abbey Gardens in Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk. At least two have complained about being struck by a conker after walking beneath boughs of a large tree there.

So the council, taking no chances, put a temporary warning sign on it: Beware Falling Conkers – Please Proceed with Care. The action was condemned yesterday by visitors to the park as ‘over the top’.

It's a sad reflection on the dumbing-down of education under Labour (yes, there are elements of sarcasm there) that people cannot any longer be relied upon to know what happens in Autumn. Perhaps, instead of a warning notice, the Council should have insisted on an approved and certified training course for all park visitors:

1. Put one foot in front of the other

2. Remember to breathe regularly

3. Wear a cycle helmet from an approved supplier at all times when less than 50m (54.68 yards) from a tree

4. Keep looking upwards, but shield your eyes in bright sunshine

5. If you are hit, don't panic - the conker will probably bounce off harmlessly and give you nothing more than a bump and a story to tell to your friends afterwards

6. If you are concerned for your personal safety, seek the assistance of a park warden who is trained to show you how to identify places which are not under trees.

What is worrying is that two people complained to the Council, and they didn't fall about laughing but actually produced and erected that sign. It's the little things that waste the money.