A bag-snatcher on a bicycle pinched a bag of poo from an elderly dog-walker in Worthing.
The thief rode past the pensioner near the Post Office in High Street, Tarring, and grabbed a bag she had been using to clean up after her dog.
A spokeswoman for Sussex Police said: "A male on his pushbike came past her and snatched the bag, perhaps thinking that there was something of value inside.
"The lady was not harmed and clearly the thief stole nothing of value."
Well, I'm not sure about that. What if he managed to sell it in the bars and clubs of Worthing, with the sales line: "Hey, I've got some really good shit, man"?
The suspect was described as a black teenager.
I thought they weren't allowed to say that these days?
Some of the comments to the story are priceless, by the way.