16 months? What?

Out in time for the New Year Sales

I see that mortgage cheat Elliot Morley has been handed down a less-than-draconian sentence of a mere 16 months for conveniently forgetting that his mortgage had been paid off, and continuing to claim money from me (and you) to fund his non-existent payments.

This is from a man who, in the words of Mr Justice Saunders, made "excessive" and "deliberate" claims which "were not explicable even in part by oversight". In other words, deliberate and calculated fraud, to the tune of £32,000.

On the basis of the extent of the fraud, and the level of deliberateness in the deceit, in comparison with the (curiously identical) 16 months handed down to 'Everybody Does Virement' Jim Devine, I guesstimated a little over 4 years. Brian was a little more cautious and plumped for a minimalist 18 months. Maverick reckoned three years. Other guesses were anonymous, and still nowhere near.

As it turned out, none of us had taken into account how much the Establishment looks after its own, and even Brian was a generous two months too high. With the normal sentence reduction for breathing, he will be out in eight months. £4,000 a month. Not many people earn that, even by honest work.

So, as the maker of the closest guess, Brian is the lucky (or astute) winner. Brian, let me know the colour of your choice and I will devote a whole post to your awesomeness. Or cynicism.