If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.

- George Washington

Saturday, 8 January 2011

Bogroll Wars

Which way do you hang? Are you an inner or an outer? I'm talking about toilet paper, obviously.

I have theory, based on two marriages, two daughters and a lot of careful observation of the lavatorial arrangements of female friends, done purely iin the interests of scientifiec research.

Women will almost always hang a new roll of toilet paper with the free end on the inside, as in the first picture above. Men will almost always hang it with the free end on the outside, as in the second. Furthermore, a woman finding the roll installed the 'wrong' way will frequently change it before she leaves the room. Men, of course, couldn't be arsed and will leave it as they find it. (This applies to one's own home, of course. Anyone who starts rearranging their friends' and neighbours' toilet paper is suffering from CDO* or desperately needs a life.)

I suspect that the reason for the phenomenon (if it is a phenomenon, and not a product of my disordered 'brain') is the old one of form and function. A roll mounted 'inside' is neater; a roll mounted 'outside' is easier to grab. Pretty appearance, versus useability. The Ford Ka versus the Caterham Seven. Cats versus dogs. Do you see where I am going with this?

Anyway, we can't get anywhere until we have some facts. So, I am putting a poll on the right-hand side of this page to see if it's just me, or if other folk have found the same thing. Studies will then proceed on the basis of empirical evidence.

(Off work, lousy weather, bored, kay?)

* That's OCD with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.


  1. Although your analysis is dead right, "I have theory, based on two marriages.......", if you don't stop re-arranging the bog-roll, you may have to start preparing for number 3.

  2. We are very lucky to have a normal-sized bathroom and also a small shower-room with WC and leaking roof at the other end of the house. Guess which is mine. But the bogroll wars have ended in an uneasy peace, with both sides glaring at the other through the razor wire and shattered earth, and an armistice, based on the principle of 'each to his own' has been signed.

    Whatever happens, I doubt if there will ever be a No. 3, mind you. You can have too much of a good thing.

  3. As an American female I totally am a picture #2 gal!

  4. *shocked*

    Well, don't just say it - vote it! Top right of the page. If I have to cobble together my stats from bits here and bits there, some assumptions and a few anecdotal remarks, heaqvily laden with personal opinion, I'll have to build a trillion-dollar international business trading carbon ^H^H^H^H be called an incompetent charlatan.

  5. That uneasy truce sounds familiar, (I'm male outside) along with toilet seats and shoes - my solitary pair of shoes by the door (for convenience) are in the way, but naturally my wife's 117 pairs of shoes cluttering up my side of the bedroom aren't in the way.

  6. This one could run and run ...

    Shall we start a Men's Group?

  7. This is why August Mobius invented his eponymous strip.

  8. What a cracking idea! Endless 'toilet tissue' without an end, and with only one ... er ... side ...

    No, forget that. Some things need to be kept separate.

  9. How about some "Recycled" Toilet Tissue?


    To avoid domestic conflict why not fit two holders - "His" and "Hers".....

  10. Recycling is good. Wonder why the Greens haven't suggested this yet. (Suggested = 'people must be forced to ...')

  11. In my research on this topic I've discovered a marvellous word cloacopapyrology . I reckon women prefer rolls with their end to the wall because it's harder for labrador puppies to pull them. Who said the female mind isn't logical?
    Why not fit a loo roll holder with an arm that can be swung through 180 degrees to suit the preference of the user? Something like this without the lampshade. Of course, that only moves the problem on to how it is left by the last user (the loo seat war).

  12. I have saved the cloacapapyrology link for later reading - perhaps somewhere quiet - so thanks for that. The articulated lamp holder gives me an idea: what about an arm that can twist the paper holder in the required orientation depending on how the seat is deployed? Automation! Bet you wish you'd thought of that!

  13. No, but in the smallest office last night I thought why not make the holder rotate about a horizontal axis in the wall. The presentation of the end of the roll changes fore and aft as one turns the holder up and under. Simples.

  14. Apply for a patent now, before some giant US copropapyroligical corporation steps in, buys up the idea and buries it (remember the car that runs on water? the perpetual motion machine?).

    Where's Patently when you need him?


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