Suggested by a post over at Julia's place:
A man hears a noise outside his house in the middle of the night. when he looks out of the window, he sees three youths trying to break into his shed. He calls the police and tells them what is happening.
"Sorry, Sir, we have no-one available to respond at the moment. I suggest you stay inside, lock the doors and call us again in the morning."
He goes outside, grapples with the youths, subdues them and brings them into the house, where he ties their hands and sits them on the floor. Then he phones the police again.
"It's OK, I've shot them."
Within five minutes, there are three police cars, an armed response unit, twenty officers, and four detectives on his property, with a helicopter with a Night Sun hovering in the sky above, bathing the area in bright light. The senior officer knocks on the door. The man invites him in and shows him the youths, sitting unharmed in the hallway.
"I thought you said you had shot them."
"I thought you said you had no-one available."