'Buttock Woman' Dies

Bizarre story of the week goes to the BBC, with its report of a 20-year-old London woman, Claudia Seye Aderotimi, who travelled to a hotel in Philadelphia, where she appears to have been given a liquid silicone injection in her arse after arranging an appointment over the Internet. She died shortly afterwards.

I am led to understand that the practice of buttock augmentation started in South America and has spread to the US. As with everything else, the UK is not far behind, it seems. Apparently, a rear end the size of a Rhine barge is seen by men as shapely and attractive, although I don't know who they asked to get that one.

What is it with women? For decades, we have been asked the eternal question "does my bum look big in this?", and have learned to answer diplomatically, for fear of losing all food and privileges, Lysistrata-style. Now we learn that what you wanted to hear all along was not "no dear, you look as slim as an ironing board in that outfit", but "Christ, does that thing have its own postcode?"

Listen, ladies. Fat or thin, flat or chesty, gym-toned or steatopygous, we don't really care. Be kind to us, look us in the eyes and smile, don't take yourselves too seriously, and we will love you for ever. All the more so if your charms, or lack of them, are natural.

Really.