If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.

- George Washington

Monday 23 April 2012

Commercial Mail

Serendipitous juxtaposition in this morning's post.

First to be opened was one of the cleverest charity requests I have seen.  It came from the Guide Dogs For The Blind Association (now rebranded as 'Guide Dogs', sadly).  The kicker, and the reason I gave it more than the most cursory inspection, was on the rear of the envelope:



Yes, Guide Dogs is a real charity, and therefore one that I would consider supporting.  (If a 'charity' gets government funding, the people supporting it are not doing so voluntarily, and it is therefore not a charity, but an agency of government.)  People with poor or no sight are worthy of anyone's sympathy and help and, as a dog lover and highly susceptible to photos of cute puppies, I am more than happy to support them.

The clever bit is what is inside the envelope.  There is a small leaflet explaining what they do (and begging for money, obviously) and there is also a cardboard thing about the size of a beer mat.



The three holes on the right are exactly the size of pound coins and the back of them is sticky.  You have no option but to look in your pocket to find three coins and see if they fit.  So I did, and they do.



After this, nothing remains but to put the beer mat in the envelope provided and post it off.  Which I did.  Very effective fundraising, this - no coercion, no guilt-trips, just 'this is what we do, this is why we need your money, here's how to do it' - and then make the process a bit more interesting and 'fun' than just writing a cheque.

Next up was this serious-looking envelope:



Anything anonymous like this, or addressed to 'The Householder' usually goes straight in the bin, but out of curiosity I opened it.  Ambulance-chasers:


There was a reply-paid envelope, so I put the letter and the original envelope inside it, added the extraneous matter from the Guide Dogs letter, bulked it up with a few Tesco receipts (cash only), unwanted business cards, old post-it notes and few bits of chewing gum.  And posted it back to them.

They need to know how much we care.

12 comments:

  1. I love sending that stuff back. I sometimes enjoy taking the time to shred their letter and any other stuff that's lying around and feed all the shreddings back into the reply-paid envelope.

    Hours of fun. Maybe they're right, though, maybe I should get out more :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not at all. I think we're both believers in actions having consequences. If they send me tons of unwanted shit, I will send tons of shit back. Legal, satisfying, and perhaps one day they may wonder why people are doing this.

      Delete
  2. I trust you included a length of toilet paper in the Guide Dog donation envelope, just for playtime after tea....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm. I ran out of toilet paper stuffing the other one. Or did you mean 'unused'?

      Delete
  3. I'd photocopy the Guide Dog stuff, then send it back to any other fake charity that came through the door with a note: 'This is how you do it!'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too late; it's gone! Trouble is, fake charitiess never seem to send donation requests through the post to people's homes. I've never had a begging letter from Alcohol Concern or ASH.

      They don't need to, of course.

      Delete
  4. I agree with your opinions on both.

    The 1st effectively attracts your interest and appeals to a prospect's charitable side.

    The second is aimed at avaricious gullible individuals.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you don't like the second letter, don't ever listen to Smooth UK. Nothing but 'have you had an accident?' and 'have you ever taken out a loan?' adverts. Awful. It's on 24/7 at work, which is how I know.

      Letting lawyers advertise in 1986 was the worst thing the Law Society ever did. Apart from all the other things, of course.

      Delete
  5. Awesome. I too don't mind supporting good causes and then love to mix and match the bad junk mail when they come with prepaid envelopes.

    And I agree whole heartedly - they need to know how much we care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is giving me ideas. I intend to keep a supply of junk mail and recycle one lot back to another on a rotational basis. Plus the old chewing gum, of course. Stuffing the envelopes so they need Sellotape to hold them shut, kind of thing. Hmmm.

      Delete
  6. Absolutely love it - is that like asking a telemarketer for their phone number so you can get back to them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That works - I've done it. Quickest cold call I have ever had :)

      These days I make the pretence of sounding keen and having to leave the phone for a 'moment' to get something vital. Then I put the phone down and get on with the ironing or whatever. One guy was still there 20 minutes later.

      (I will waste their time with sport, but I won't be rude. I worked for a while in a telesales operation, and it's a thankless and demeaning job. They are only trying to earn a living, after all.)

      Delete

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