Sarah Brown (brightly): “Are you ready to go to the Palace to see the Queen, Gordon? Did you put on my favourite mauve tie of yours? You did. Let me look at you… you look sooooo smart. I am so proud of you Gordon.”
GB (beaming): “Thank you. Come and join us, Sarah. We were just talking about the election and I was saying that if I just had a few more days I could really, really get the Tories and that man Cameron, and then we’d be ahead in the polls and then we could continue the work of change and… and… get on with delivering a fairer future… for… for… Britain?”
Sarah: “Well that’s very interesting Gordon, dear. But I think Ed is right. Gordon, it is time.”
GB (nervously): “You don’t think if we just waited for a few more minutes?”
Sarah (quietly): “No. No more delays. (Quickly brightening again). But what did we discuss last night? What did I tell you Gordon?”
GB (looking pleased as punch): “That I’m going to win the election.”
Sarah (nodding patiently, taking his hand and leading him out of the room and down the corridor toward the front door of Number 10): “Of course you are. And why are you going to win Gordon?”
GB: “Because I saved the banks and then I saved the economy. I’m a serious man for serious times, not like him (glowering now)… that Lord… Lord… Lord Snooty Cameron and his pal Osborne… "
Marvellous. And, of course, psychologically true, even if literally not.
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