If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.
- George Washington
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
The Portaloo Massacre
OK, that title is stretching the point to bursting in the pursuit of a minor witticism, but I couldn't help laughing when this vehicle turned up to my place of work the other day.
(And I've had that title in my head for weeks, and I will probably never get to use it otherwise.)
I can confirm that the above is not me. He has no life to speak of, and spends his time committing fraud by leaving comments in different names.
I apologise for him showing up here. Any day now we will have his employers details and we will be informing them of his actions of late. All of his nasty comments have been saved and will be used to make him extremely uncomfortable in his bosses office.
Mick: 'Turdis' is close to genius. Commanded by Dr Pho, I guess.
Microdave: now that's something as well. The email address is good too :)
Trobairitz: for the last few years the DVLA (licensing authority) have reserved some of the more interesting numbers and have sold them off to willing buyers. So I am guessing that they requested something with 'poo' in it (as it were) and got J8. I did a post about a local vehicle recently here. It's nicer than poo, trust me.
I am honoured to be in such illustrious company! His comment here is harmless, and I shall leave it. If he gets offensive or unpleasant, he's out.
Memorable - yes. I bet he didn't think he'd be on the interwebs. He was telling me that when he visits shows and things, people queue up to ask him about it and take photos. Mainly children ... oops, that was a giveaway :)
Yeah, I got the email address. A mate has it all over his bike jacket.
ISTR that someone once was selling something like the bumper dumper for the Range Rover - sort of complete facilities for a day at the races. Champagne in the chiller, caviar in the wicker basket, bog on the towhitch. Classy.
"The Bumper Dumper® - You're driving on a long secluded stretch of road"
That might be fine in the US, but I can't see too many people having a cr*p beside a typical UK side road. You can guarantee that some jobsworth "official" will magically appear just as you are past the point of no return..
I can't the picture out of my head of a massively overweight SUV/RV driver, sitting on the Bumper Dumper (R) with his shorts round his ankles while the front wheels hover in the air.
A 30-second turboshit behind a tree is far more dignified.
You're right, though: nowhere in the UK this would be useable.
I still have the portaloo that i saved from the council when they dug up ranty barracks lane.
ReplyDeleteCould have been worse - Portaloo Sunset?
ReplyDeleteI liked the graffiti that was on a blue Portaloo near here. "Turdis"
And I bet THIS guy follows him around...
ReplyDeleteNice that his license plate says 'poo'. Do you think he had to ask for that special or they just gave it to him?
ReplyDeleteHi Richard,
ReplyDeleteI can confirm that the above is not me. He has no life to speak of, and spends his time committing fraud by leaving comments in different names.
I apologise for him showing up here. Any day now we will have his employers details and we will be informing them of his actions of late. All of his nasty comments have been saved and will be used to make him extremely uncomfortable in his bosses office.
CR.
Mick: 'Turdis' is close to genius. Commanded by Dr Pho, I guess.
ReplyDeleteMicrodave: now that's something as well. The email address is good too :)
Trobairitz: for the last few years the DVLA (licensing authority) have reserved some of the more interesting numbers and have sold them off to willing buyers. So I am guessing that they requested something with 'poo' in it (as it were) and got J8. I did a post about a local vehicle recently here. It's nicer than poo, trust me.
Aye aye, Cap'n. Thought as much. I was going to delete it, but I think I'll leave it where it is, for future generations.
ReplyDeleteI've zapped him twice today (once impersonating the Cap'n, once Pat Nurse).
ReplyDeleteLove the picture - it ensures they are a memorable firm, doesn't it?
I am honoured to be in such illustrious company! His comment here is harmless, and I shall leave it. If he gets offensive or unpleasant, he's out.
ReplyDeleteMemorable - yes. I bet he didn't think he'd be on the interwebs. He was telling me that when he visits shows and things, people queue up to ask him about it and take photos. Mainly children ... oops, that was a giveaway :)
Kind of reminds me of this...
ReplyDeletehttp://bumperdumper.com/bumper2.htm
The e-mail in MD's pic - Dilligaf = Do I look like I give a f... probably curtesy of Kevin Bloody Wilson.
Yeah, I got the email address. A mate has it all over his bike jacket.
ReplyDeleteISTR that someone once was selling something like the bumper dumper for the Range Rover - sort of complete facilities for a day at the races. Champagne in the chiller, caviar in the wicker basket, bog on the towhitch. Classy.
"The Bumper Dumper® - You're driving on a long secluded stretch of road"
ReplyDeleteThat might be fine in the US, but I can't see too many people having a cr*p beside a typical UK side road. You can guarantee that some jobsworth "official" will magically appear just as you are past the point of no return..
I can't the picture out of my head of a massively overweight SUV/RV driver, sitting on the Bumper Dumper (R) with his shorts round his ankles while the front wheels hover in the air.
ReplyDeleteA 30-second turboshit behind a tree is far more dignified.
You're right, though: nowhere in the UK this would be useable.
I can't help imagining someone having it away with the SUV while dad is taking a crap on the Bumper Dumper.
ReplyDelete