If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.

- George Washington

Thursday, 6 August 2009

Beaver goes missing

I know I shouldn't, but this makes me laugh.

The project to reintroduce beavers to Scotland was in disarray today after it emerged that one of the animals had vanished, two had gone on the run and another had died. Police are investigating in the first case after wildlife agencies claimed the beaver might have been shot.

So let's have a look at the evidence for this, shall we? Bullets? Nope. A carcass full of shot? Nope. Man seen shooting at beaver (quiet at the back there)? Nope.

A Strathclyde Police spokeswoman said the force had been made aware of the allegations and was investigating. She added: "At this time there is no evidence of a beaver having been shot."

No evidence. So why the dramatic headline: "Police called in amid fears reintroduced beaver shot in Scotland"?

Whose fears? Back to the first quotation:

... wildlife agencies claimed the beaver might have been shot.


"Might" have been shot.

Come on, guys, you can do better then this. The police have found no evidence, but a "wildlife agency" (names, please) "claim" something, and suddenly it's headline news. It's either the silly season, or someone on The Times has a thing about beavers. (Be quiet, Thompson.)

I don't wish any harm to the little furry toothy things, but I regard this experiment as one of the more risible eco-mental experiments of recent times. Beavers died out from the area 400 years ago. It is not respecting nature, or Gaia, or whatever, to replace them artificially. It's just silly.

What next, buffalo in the Yorkshire Dales? There were some there once, I'm sure.

1 comment:

  1. That article is one of the funniest I've read in ages. (Well, since yesterday's BBC headline: "Children To Be Given Wife Beating Lessons". Presumably consisting of some top tips and techniques, when it's appropriate to use a stout stick, that kind of thing).
    Beaver crime (snigger) must be on the up if they're all going on the lam.
    The bit about the tree had me in stitches: Mr Webster said: "The beaver got half way through felling and the trunk snapped. They do travel quite a long way and they can cause quite a bit of damage. It could have been somebody's house."
    Scots live in trees? Or does he seriously think a beaver's gonna chew through the average semi-detached in the same way?
    Anyway, I reckon Bonnie and Clyde beaver did for the other one, which is why they're hiding from the law. They were obviously smart enough to heave the bullet-ridden corpse into a nearby loch first. And since all the locals, even the well-armed ones who don't like beavers, denied responsibility - who else could it have been?


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