If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.

- George Washington

Thursday 24 February 2011

Archaeology News

From the always good and occasionally brilliant Daily Mash:

Archeologists uncover ancient responsible drinking posters

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "It seems that even before written language was born, mankind had developed a keen sense of ruining somebody else's fun.

"I imagine that at the same moment the first primitive human created fire with his trembling hands, some hairy-knuckled prick sat next to him was whining on about his asthma and telling him to put it out.

"Living in the middle of an ice age with an average life expectancy of 28, it's hard to imagine how our ancestors found any joy in life to suck out but I think the fact we've yet to find any ashtrays on the dig proves that they managed it."
Marvellous. Read on ...


  1. There was a report the other week of some archaeological dig somewhere. After examining dozens of carefully cut human skulls of various ages they finally deduced what they were for. The small cut skulls were cups and the larger cut skulls were for bowls. Heck can you imagine the local nanny state equivalent ? Don't go outside after dark because if the beastie gets you then you won't grow up to be useful as a bowl when you die. You will die a cup and will never fulfill your full potential as a useful bowl for mixing and putting fruit in etc.

  2. "So why is the cheap skull of Winston Churchill so much smaller than the large one, buddy?"

    "That's because he was only a boy."

    Good find. Completely bizarre.

  3. here's that skull story..


  4. Thanks for that. Interesting article, although with a typical Daily Mail unconcern for accuracy. The period in question (14,700 years ago) was in the late Palaeolithic, whereas the Britons didn't arrive here until around 12,000 years later, and were an Iron age culture. so calling them 'Ancient Britons' is about as accurate as calling white Australians 'aborigines'.

    The idea of using a skull as a cup is obviously an old one in these islands, though, as the Celts/Britons were big on heads too, chopping them off and displaying them far too often for comfort.

    I'm surprised the photograph of the 'Ancient Briton' didn't have the caption "Posed by Model", just in case any DM reader thought that they had cameras back then.

  5. ha ha the story must be fake anyway as I just had a Jehovas Witness tell me the world is only 6,000 yrs old so who to believe ?!
    I read the story somewhere else aswell but can't find it. It might have been more accurate :)

  6. Sorry Don - I don't disbelieve the story, just the DM's attempt to make it understandable to a thick readership by including inaccurate details. I am sure that our ancestors did use skulls as cups. Why not? It's an ideal shape, and you can have children's skulls for shorts and adult ones for beer and so on.

    I love the JW argument - the world is only 6000 years old, and any evidence that it is older was planted by the Devil to test your faith. You can't lose with that logic.

  7. Yes the JW story is almost foolproof until you ask them about 1975. This was when God / 72,000 angels/ everyone who has ever died and gone to heaven etc would descend from heaven and kill the millions of unbelievers in Armageddon Plateau in Israel ( was described in Revelations in the New Testament).
    Unfortunately ( for them) it didn't happen and they went quiet for a few years after that. But they're back, stronger and even more deluded and brainwashed than ever before !
    Yes I asked them about fossils being carbon dated to 3billion years ago and they said it was satan tricking us. Naughty satan !
    Oh there's a beer in Scotland called 'skullcrusher' and it is supposed to be 40% proof. Wonder where they got the idea from ?
    'Skull crusher please'
    large or small skull ?
    'Small please. Got the car outside '

  8. LOL! 40% alcohol is in whisky territory - 40 deg proof is around 22% abv, still massively alcoholic and about 3 times that of an average wine.

    The big Welsh brewery Brains (irony alert) has a beer called Brains SA, whoch the locals interpret as 'Skull Attack'.

    I prefer the name for Newcastle Brown that I heard when I was up there a few years ago:

    "Jawney Inter Spayus."


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