If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.

- George Washington

Friday, 20 January 2012

Dog Beer

Yes, really. While on the hunt for something suitable for Anna in the final hours before the Christmas shut-down, I bumped into this in a local 'everything' store, and I had to get it for Bonkers Dog.



It's non-alcoholic, which is a relief. He's mad enough without adding beer-rage to his kitbag of moods.
Complementary food for dogs.
Best served at room temperature.

Small to medium dogs ½ bottle per day. Medium to large dogs 1 bottle per day. Shake before use. Contains no alcohol. On opening, keep refrigerated and use within 3 days. Do not store below 4°C. Do not expose to direct sunlight.
The ingredients list would curl the hair of any Righteous control-freak:
Composition:
Meat and animal derivatives, Cereals.

Analytical constituents:
Crude Protein 0.8%, Crude Fat 0.18%, Crude Fibre 0.18%, Crude Ash 0.5%, Moisture 98.3%.
Not sure what the remaining 0.04% is - poison, probably.

It's made in the Netherlands, and the company even have a website, www.dogbeer.eu.

He loved it.

17 comments:

  1. "Moisture 98.3%." - Er, don't they mean WATER???

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, that made me laugh too. I suppose it's more honest than the miracle mysterious ingredient 'Aqua' that comprises so much of the expensive face creams and moisturisers that people pay for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have to laugh at the idiots who buy a bottle of "ready to use" car screen wash/antifreeze. Since it is just a diluted version of the full fat variety, they are paying heaps of money for moisture/aqua/water (delete as applicable)...

      Delete
    2. One of my family used to work as a GPO (sic)
      telephonist. In the days before computerized telephone directory databases, each exchange would hold a directory for its local area only, reprinted weekly. This was too expensive (and too bulky) to simply duplicate across the country, so for anything outside the local area the operator would first check the ordinary published directories, going through to ask the appropriate distant exchange if that didn't resolve the query.

      One of the operators was exceptionally thick, I mean thicker than four short planks, never mind just the usual two, so his colleagues set him up with a fake query for the Dehydrated Water Company, Aberdeen. And he duly went through to Aberdeen to pursue the inquiry.

      The response of the Aberdeen operator is not really suitable for a family blog like this.

      Delete
    3. That brings back memories! My Nan used to be the exchange operator for their small town in Cleveland. The exchange was in their living room. I can still see the ranks of cables and plugs, and hear her saying "hold the line, please, caller", and "Trying to connect you ..."

      That story deserves to be better known, along with the tartan paint and "long stand" given as tasks to apprentices.

      Delete
    4. http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html

      Delete
  3. Go on Richard, tell your readers what it tasted like!

    I know you must at least have had a sip, if only out of curiosity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Strangely, no I didn't. I used to eat (and enjoy) dog biscuits when I was little, but this meaty, ashy, fibrey, moisturey concoction held no appeal, even to curiosity. And I couldn't deny Bonkers Dog some of his Christmas present, now could I? It's all he got, poor bugger.

      I no longer eat Spillers Shapes, by the way. Even as part of my Five A Day.

      Delete
    2. Funny. That comment was time-stamped at 0932, when it was in fact posted at 1732. 8 hours behind, which is West Coast time, if I'm not mistaken. The blog settings are to GMT, and the times for posts are correct. Another Blogger triumph.

      Delete
    3. I'd noticed that MD's 1st response was time stamped before you'd published the post, so was going to ask him which tomorrow's Lottery Numbers would win.

      Delete
  4. There has to be a 'hair of the dog' joke in there somewhere but I can't think of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's fur beyond my abilities too. I'll get me coat ...

      Delete
  5. It's Bovril made with ditch water?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's about it.

      And why Bonkers Dog loved it. He's a Labrador, and thinks fox shit is aftershave.

      Delete
  6. My dog wouldn't touch it....

    ReplyDelete

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